Let’s just say i’m alone on this one

So schools have cliques, you know it, I know it. You have the jocks, preps druggies, shy kids, just plain weird kids, drama kids and art kids. No one wants to be labled but we all are and we all judge accordingly. But what happens when you just don’t fit? When all the other pieces in the puzzle have formed a beautiful picture and you stand there on the outside knowing that there is no shape to fit yours. I’ve noticed that I don’t fit anywhere. As great as high school has been and as many friends as I may have, I don’t have that group I am associated with. I’m just there, just Lindsey. I noticed it the most today while ina meeting for Muskoka -which looks absolutely amazing- and the teachers said they pciked a range of students. After the meeting we were walking towards the Caf and they people started saying what group they were from, two were drama, a lot were sports and others were art. One boy who was from the drama grouped looked at me and said, “Lindsey’s alone on this one isn’t she?” I just smiled and turned it into a joke, “Yeah, they needed at least one retard to make everyone feel better about themselves!” I got a few good laughs on that one. But it did kind of bother me. I’ve never been fully capable of having a long term best-friend without being replaced, my sisters aren;t that tight with me and it just seems I am always second to someone. It’s always been this was really, in elementary school adn even before then. I really feel like my brain is diffrent from other peoples heads, like I see something completely different through my eyes than other people do. I never found a reason to drink or party, school has always been super important and I always see whats stupid in a situation. Sometimes I feel like I am thirty! I like how I am though, as lonely as it can can having no one to relate to you on situations. I like that I am always happy with my choices and believe that they are the correct ones to make. But it would be nice to have a group of people who understand why I am so retarded sometimes and why I am so stubborn. I know I act retarded a lot, but it’s because I don’t care what others think of me, minus the odd exception to that. I just see the people who are wrecking their lives now and I just shake my head, as much of a loser as they see I am, I am going to have a better life. I don’t let any of this get me down too much seeing as I may not have the sterotypical best friend, but I have Tre. He may be my boyfriend but I would choose him over the world. I have the most fun with him and he makes me feel amazing. It’s our seven months today, officially my longest relationship! I hope we never end, I can’t imagine trying to compare other guys to him. He can’t be replaced in my heart, he’s way too amazing. Anyhow on another subject… Muskoka looks incredible. I think I am looking forward to it more than New York! I really hope it changes the way I see somethings in life, they said it’s a life changing experience. I’m proud of myself that I made it. I wish I could shove it in my elementary school teachers faces, and I wish I could show them how their favourite students have changed. I knew things would change, just shows that patients really is key!

Today I am orange, it’s a confusing colour and I don’t know how I am feeling today.

PS. treishottreishottreishottreishottreishot! I really wish I could kiss him now and have him hold me. I am pathetic. One day I will challange myself to writing one post without thinking about him… pffft like I could actually do that!

<3

It started with a dream

Sorry it’s been a while. It has been a busy week at school with homework, a social life and Tre. A new year comes with new responsibilities, new people and new experiences. No classes with Tre makes it nearly impossible to see him. The short fourty minutes at lunch go by fast, especially when he has millions of people asking him to have lunch with him. It has taken a small strain on our relationship and my lack of ability to get ferociously mad at him makes it impossible to fight for more than a few hours. I have joined choir even though I ca not sing or understand the stupid musical terms the instructor uses. I honestly think I am the worst person there, but it can be pretty funny after a while. Business class continues to be the most amazing thing ever. Easy A I’m sure.So that’s whats been keeping me from writing these things, a busy mind makes it hard to find inspiration.

Twilight movie comes out November 21! I have mentioned this series a few times. It is absolutely amazing. If Edward were real… Tre would have some competition. The twilight phenomenon is an amazing thing. It swept so many people up in it’s little world so fast. The characters are all so unique and Edward has what everyguy wants in a girl. He loves her, protects her from getting crushed by cars, would sing to her all night if he had to, as crepy as it might be it’s still sweet he watches Bella sleep and stays with her all night, is crazy smart, has old fashion outlooks on love and WILL GLADLY GIVE YOU HIS SWEATER (little dig to tre), and most important he loves Bella so much that he will not eat her as absurd as it seems it’s very romantic. I believe every guy should read that book and learn from Edward, all of them could learn something. So anyways those books are very amazing and I do suggest to read them.

Why I got started talking about those books was because last night I was watching some youtube videos on the movie and author. The author Stephanie Meyer said how she came up with the original idea for Twilight. She was never a writer nor did she dream to be a writer. It started with a dream. She dreamt of two people sitting in a meadow talking about how they loved each other so much, yet it was so hard for the male not to kill the girl. She was so facinated that during her spare time she thought about and wrote the book. All for fun. I found this very inspirational. I love writing and also usually take my dreams and try to change them into a story. To know that such success has come from a regular person like me through a dream gives me a bit more hope that maybe one day I can have my dream.

So.. this is what it feels like huh?

So today was my first day of garde 10. Surprizingly it was absolutely no differnet than garde 9. Like sure despite differnet classes, teachers and peers were different but everything felt the same. As I waked to school with Jessica my tummy flipped and I couldn’t stop giggleing with excitment Unfortuately walking to school made my hair frizz and go curly. So I was pissed off. But after I calmed down a bit everything was just as it was left. I hugged and said hey to all of my past friends and talked about summers and boys and such. But it barely felt as if I went away for more than a week. Everyone was the same and I can’t say I am not happy about that. My first class is sadly math and only one normal person ahs it with me. But math is math it’s not supposed to be enjoyable. Second I have businesss. Which I thought would be my favourite class because I’m naturally gifted at it. BUT as it turns out my teacher is extremely buff. Which I must say is always good So that is deffinately my favourite class. My third is science. Nerdy teacher, lame teaching idea. Blah class. Last I have careers which is alright because my friend nattie is in it and I can bug the shit out of him So that’s grade ten in all of it’s glory. Shall be interesting. I already fell on the floor in the main hallway so I can’t wait to see what happens next!

A Year Ago…

A year ago doesn’t seem that long. I remember it all vividly. All the new faces I saw and all the new classes I was in. I can’t believe it’s already been a year. All my memories haven’t faded but passed by in full gear. I will never forget sitting in my dad’s office waiting for the bell to ring to go to class. Now I’ll be out there with all the people. I’ll be there, the place I never thought I’d fit in with. I have so many amazing friends and an amazing boyfriend and I can’t be happier. I had my rough week but now it’s finally all over. The dark cloud has past by and left me with a big beautiful rainbow. Tomorrow is a start of another school year. I’m a year older and a hell of a lot wiser. The past year ahs been the happiest year of my life and I’m hoping I can top it or macth it at least. I’ll live every moment as I should have last year. I am so excited for tomorrow (not waking up at 6 tho) I can finally see everyone once again and be with them. I am so scared to ahve to graduate because I am just so happy now. I wish it would never end. But as time goes on, fast like it has been I’ll move on too. I just want t make this a tribute to another awesome year. To Grade ten everybody! I’ll be sure to blog about new people i meet and teachers that are good, bad, and some how attractive:P (hobin!!!)

TO GRADE 10!