my 9 o’clock lullaby

This is going to be a short and pointless blog. I really have nothing to talk about or discuss or bitch about but I am bored and tired. I also have quite angry because I have to give my Saturday sleeping in for a charity thing I am doing with my Dad for community hours. I have to be at the school for six thirty… SIX THIRTY! Which means I have to get up at five thirty… FIVE THIRTY! Honestly it will be horrible, the only good thing is that Tre will be there. Sadly, I am yet again worried. When am I not worrying about something? Well, this time I am afraid he will flirt with everyone there and I will stand there like a loner, yes I realize I am dumb. Blah, I am so tired but it is only eight fifty and I don’t want to sit in bed. Lame, lame and more sucky lameness. Anyways, I watched the exsorcist with Sam today, the original one from the seventies. It had a lot of boring parts and the supposedly scary part were quite funny to watch. I realized that I have a long tongue just like the possessed girl and that I can make odd faces like her. I also can do some wonderful interpretive dances that are suductive. Interesting huh? Oh dear I need rest. For those of you who are like, “GO TO BED THEN!” I want to inform you that I would, but my father is watching a stupid sci-fi movie and it is loud. Dumb boy movies. Speakin of movies… TWILIGHT COMES OUT IN SIX DAYS! and I see it in SEVEN! I am pumped! They have a shirt that says “Team Edward” on it, I want it so bad!!! It won’t happen thought. Since my Muskoka and NYC trip, all money for me goes to funding those. So that means no extra awesome stuff, which I can live with if I can go to NYC. Seriously it is going to be amazing. I get to go to a dinner and dance ona  boat that will circle Manhattan. Five other schools will be there which means lots of cute boys to cheat on Tre with. Joking. He will be on my mind 24/7, and I will be wishing that I could dance with him. It would be my perfect moment, I even winced when I thought about Tre not being there so I can have my moment. I guess I will have to wait Oh well, as long as I have my Tre in my life I am happy. God I need a life outside of Tre. Next person to read this and see me after, hit me hard across the face and call me a loser. Thanks. Ugh, I should get ready for bed, early start tomorrow. -_-

<3

Hello again- I’m back!

Sorry it has been so long. The month of september was a difficult one for me. I don’t remember much of it, and for the most part I don’t want to. I let life pass me by for that month and I acted ina  way I hope I never do again. I wasn’t myself. It was as if I took a month long vacation and my body settled into an auto piolet. I hated it. Anyways I am back and I am wanting to get back into blogging- although kinda like a diary this time. I don’t want to promise anything because things change but I will try and write as much as possible.

So I will give you the quick low-down on what has been happening. I AM GOING TO NEW YORK- finally! My dream is coming true and I will be going to my hearts home! I cannot wait, it will be in either march or april. I am also signing up for a leadership camp up in the Muskokas. This looks amazing and life changing, just the thing I need to feel purpose again.

Tre and I are still going strong. We got to chat a lot this week because he sprained his ankle- funny story actually, though too bad I was not there to experience it. He apparently walked up a wall; earning him the name Spidey. On the way down when he landed he fell onto a volleyball and yeah. He’s on crutches and I am finally faster then the stupid kid. Anyways so we got to talk a lot and I learned a lot about how he feels towards me. I thought I was the pathetic girlfriend who is crazy for her guy when he just has her around for fun. Tre sees me almost even more than I see him. He also mentioned how he thinks I am the one for hima dn how he plans to marry me.. (gee!) As much as I know not to trust boys and to be careful with my heart- it’s his. I believe anything he says and I soak it up like a spounge. I really hope I am not setting myself up for a serious heart break. If we do end I won’t be myself, he will take a large chunk out of me that I won’t get back along with my heart that will be smashed into millions of pieces for me to pick up. I don’t love him, not just yet- but he mean too much for it to be just a high school relationship. Dumb boys. I have also planned on telling my parents in the next month about me and Tre. Since I have issues remembering dates and such I figured I will make it easier on myself for telling them a few days before our monthly annaversary. That way it will at least be the same day. I am quite scared though. I don’t know how my parents will react; they don’t even know I like boys yet- HAHA. I do plan on having Tre come over more often so they will get to know him better.

I have been sick all week which really sucks. I hate feeling so drained. Advil helps out a lot though; I can be hyper again! I just had a science test which I am not sure on how well I did on it… could not be worse than a 70. I have been thinking about my future and what I might want to be. I have always loved business and politics and writing. Politics is a dead end- especially being a women thanks to all the stupid boys. Hardcore business can be pretty dull and requires you to do well in math; which is not my best subject. Writing is a topsy-turvy thing to get into and not stable. I researched a lot of different occupations and settled on Marketing. I can combine my love for business and writing which is awesome. I figured I can also stay active in local politics on the side aswell.

I don’t know what else to say… Tilight comes out on november 21st and I am hoping Tre and I can go on a date to watch it. He is the hardest person to make plans with. He is involved with so manyt hings, right now it is volleyball. He has so many practises and games and then on top of that he has damn tournoments and reffing. I am also busy with family things, yearbook, choir and fundraising for the new york trip. Oh well, we will just have to find time I guess.

This is really the first time I have ever been able to say that I am happy. Truely, completely happy. I may frown sometimes, listen to sad songs and grumble about teachers but I have never had sucha  glow around me. I spent the last month feeling like there was a huge hole in me and now it is filled. My parents have been fighting a lot, school has been more than what I can handle and I have a tendancy to bite off more than I can chew.. but I just love everything about life right now. I’d be lying if I said Tre wasn’t a big reason why I am so happy but even when I am not with him I am finally happy. I can stand on my own feet and be happy while doing it. I’m fifteen and on top of this big wide world.

Write soon! Love your average girl with the odd mind,

Lindsey<3

ps. have you ever felt the gratifying feeling when you type? have you ever realized how good it feels to type like lightning? … It’s amazing!