Secret #20
I want someone to read this, fall madly in love with me, and make all my problems go away.
Is it sad that Gene Simmons is the reason that I feel like I can endure anything right now? I recently read an interview he had in Maclean’s magazine, in which he stated, “Hopefully, the one thing I gave Sophie {his daughter} was the clear information that she should never define herself by men. Women’s magazines are so ego-destroying, the worst piece of trash you can read. Here’s why: they feed the insecurities and weakness of women. There are always lists: “10 things he likes about you,” “10 things to look younger”- this endless self-torture. Men’s magazines never, ever talk about what women want. Men don’t care.” Thank you for helping me see this Gene! I never thought of the male vs women differences like this. Clearly, especially seeing as I am only 16, I really shouldn’t be wasting my time on worrying about how to make myself appealing to men. I will be me, because damn, I AM worth it.
It has been about a month since I have been dumped. I have been riding on the emotional rollarcoster of hell. I don’t know if this is the end of the ride, or if I am just on top of another drop, happy. Either way I would like to say that I have learned a lot about myself from this whole experience. Everything happens for a reason and that though it may seem bad at the time, good things are coming. I don’t need a guy to define who I am. I have dreams, hopes and wishes. I have said my last goodbye, and though I have not yet completely let go, I am no longer yours. Life goes on before and after you. (Wishes- Superchick) I am smiling, I am still breathing, and I am still here.
I can still remember your scent, maybe that’s the problem. I deleted all your pictures off my msn, it made me remember a lot. I miss you… you meant a lot. I still don’t fully understand. Maybe one day you can miss me too. Just two lost souls, floating around.
Secret #19
I say a lot of bullshit. My heart speaks silently, my brain filters it out. I don’t even know what to believe. I hate you, I love you. Fuck you.
